Say goodbye to Winter Olympics, hello to new TV shows

Dishwashing, keyboard clicking and living room pacing are the sounds that echoed loudly from my house as my DVR sat empty during the XXI Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver.

With the Olympics now finished, new episodes of my favorite TV shows on NBC, CBS and ABC will finally resume.

I always had an idea that my productivity was below average, but this year's Olympics have exposed my true colors. All of my favorite shows on "The Big Three" television networks have been reruns, and I have had no clue what to do with my time.

The halfpipe and hockey were the only two sports I enjoyed watching during the Olympics. Hockey was on during the day, and the halfpipe was only for two days during the first week of the games. This left me with a lot of "kick it old school" time after work.

There's no way I was going to watch ice dancing. If I wanted to watch two people basically making out on ice I'd personally finance "Gossip Girl" or any of those other shows on the CW to be performed on ice at Energy Solutions Arena.

Without a Jamaican bobsled team my desire to watch sophisticated tray sledding diminished greatly, and don't even get me started on sophisticated ice sweeping: curling.

These little games that are only important enough to talk about every four years took away from one of my greatest nightly traditions.

There is nothing better than going through the DVR on a Thursday night to watch the trifecta of "Community," "Parks and Recreation," and "The Office" after a long night at work.

Imagine delivering pizzas all night to Kayenta, where finding street lights and house numbers through the maze of streets named Tuweap, Two Moons, Dances With Wolves and Hoochimogihollabackatcha is like finding Mormons in Vatican City. Follow that up with getting a ticket for speeding down Santa Clara Drive and then having to clean wet cheese out of the sink. Comedy television would have been the perfect remedy for these problems.

I returned home from work after a long President's Day, and I was super excited for a new episode of "Accidentally on Purpose." My euphoria was brief as I brought up the list of recorded shows to find that Jenna Elfman would not be gracing my TV screen that night. Maybe somebody accidentally deleted it on purpose. I hit "GUIDE" on my remote control and went through the entire week. Every one of my shows was not set to record because they were all reruns.

Though I've been told my behind is lazy, this does not mean I'm an idiot. I immediately blamed the Olympics. I was happy for the Olympics and excited for the athletes, but suddenly I didn't care about Apolo "13" Ohno, Lindsey "Swimsuit Issue" Vonn or Bode "Whatever" Miller. I wanted my fetching TV shows.

People might say, "Why don't you just go to bed or study when you get back from work?"

Are you kidding me? Who wants to read a book at midnight? Who wants to go sleep when they're hopped up on Dr Pepper? The answer is not me.

So thank you, XXI Olympic Winter Games, for finally ending. You were like a Christmas ornament: We brought you out of the box, put you on display, admired your glitter, but alas it is time for you to go back in the box. We can all now return to our regularly scheduled programming.