'Titanic 3D' sinks in critic's mind

“Titanic” could be one of the worst movies known to man.

First of all, the love story is completely unrealistic. What girl falls in love with someone (who is much less classy than they are) on a boat after knowing him for just a few moments? The “love at first sight” thing is super cheesy and no one buys into it anymore. The whole sinking act is unrealistic also. Obviously the computer-generated imagery was not as good then as it is now.

Secondly, Wikipedia considers the 1997 “Titanic” to be an American fictional epic romantic historical disaster film. It’s a little much, don’t you think? If director James Cameron wanted to make any big impact he should have stuck to two or three genres for movies not six. If Cameron wanted the 1997 film to actually be a historical retelling, he probably should have left out some of the cheesy love story. If he wanted it to be a romantic comedy, then he should have left out the death.

Thirdly, the movie is much too long. If it were a theater production, it would need at least two intermissions. The movie is about three hours long—probably three hours too long. It goes on and on and seems to never end (until everyone’s lives really do end!).

Now, in 1997, “Titanic” might have been a huge hit. It grossed more than $1.8 billion, and I will admit, I did beg to see it (come on, I was only six years old!). But now it is 2012, and I know it is the 100th anniversary of the sinking, but the movie wasn’t all that good the first time, so why did we re-produce it?

I know exactly why. They wanted to make easy money by reproducing something they already had. This was not so easy though, and it took $18 million. That money could have definitely been used more wisely to create a better movie. Come on, Cameron, now that you have Avatar, why are you living in the past?

The 3-D aspect to the movie might have pleased some audiences. Everyone loves the idea of a movie being able to pop out at you. But it is the exact same movie that was already produced with the occasional 3-D element. It is not unique at all. Besides, when you watch “Titanic 3D,” you have to wear those awful 3D glasses, and no one wants to wear those for three hours.

Many “Titanic” fanatics are around, but if you want to watch a good movie, I would suggest skipping out on “Titanic 3D.” You probably own the movie yourself, so why spend the $8 at the theater to see something you can watch in the comfort of your own home?

If it was up to me, I would have had Rose jump off the boat and actually commit suicide at the beginning of the movie. It would have made for a much shorter, exciting and thrilling movie for all of us.